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First look at Zazie Beetz as Domino in Deadpool 2.
(x)
(via penandpage)
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So important.
Also, STOP BEATING AND HUMILIATING YOUR CHILDREN, PERIOD.
(via thecattydddy)
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Bonus:
“I’m having a very terrible childhood right now” was such a line.
(Source: tytandys, via kitsune-tails)
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We’re late to the fidget spinner game. (via pardesoteric)
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via griffith-did-nothing-wrong)
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Y’all, rich people tip like shit
I pull up at this nice ass house, I’m walking to the door as the woman pulls in her driveway so the pizza is definitely not late.
I’m all smiley and courteous and shit, she tipped me $1 on a $51 bill.
The next house I have is in a lower class neighborhood, she tips me $4.00 on a $14 bill.
rich people don’t value yr labor at all
This has ALWAYS been my experience in food service. Rich people tip like shit because they feel your job isn’t a ‘real’ job. They’re used to being serviced so they don’t appreciate hard labor. It’s so gross.
And poorer people always tip nice because…well the opposite reason.(via jinkies-binx)
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the cis are getting out of hand
fucking furries assigning their children fursonas before they’re even born
i just had to add
It hurts
when you’re kid turns out to be non binary
THE LAST ONE IS MEEEEEE
I demand to see more “gender revealing” cakes
so i did a google search and lemme tell you the cishets are fuckin weird
guns and glitter was a recurring theme
YYYYYYYY THO
why would guns even be apart of a cake describing a human infant anyway…how is a deadly weapon cute
Let me clarify for y'all this some WHITE cis shit
(Source: empress-homogay, via phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess)
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So, possibly one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the “women want him, men want to *be* him” stuff in old movies? Well I’m a man and by *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway!
I’m having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a date. It is.. not going well. Guy was being rather creepy and making some pretty inappropriate comments, the girl doesn’t look at all comfortable.
The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly, my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says “well, least I know you can swallow right?”. Loudly.
Girl goes red and tells him that isn’t appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a “shoo” type motion and says “oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway”.
I missed her exact reply as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what was being said - **** no, **** off, **** this. He responded with “sweetheart I picked you up, I know where you live”. She lost the colour in her face and said nothing.
No. No. **** no. I’m one of those “get involved” type of people and there is no way I’m sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m 23, fighting fit and happy to put that mother****er through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway.
I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says “Easy.. I’ve got this one son”. Absolute, total confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my current plan amounted to “stab him in the neck” and I’m already thinking maybe that’s not the best idea, I sit down.
He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn’t have any colour in his face.
Cop: “So, I’m quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when I distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?”
Guy: “I, ah, well, um, you see..”
Cop: “That’s what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I’m deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up.”
Guy: “oh no well that…”
Cop: “But that would disrupt everyone’s dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, because I wouldn’t want you running off on me, then you go see one of the staff here and settle your bill.. the full bill now, this young lady shouldn’t go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I’ll leave it up to you.”
Guy: “No no! That’s perfectly fine!” \*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter\*
Cop: \*while writing down the guys details\* “Sorry about that miss, I hope I’m not intruding it just seemed like you could use some help. Oh and don’t worry, if you want to pursue this further I’ll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we can definitely take this further.”
Girl: “No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here”.
Cop: \*shifts from hard**** cop to comforting father figure in about half a second\* “Well I’m here with my daughter, she’s about your age, perhaps you’d like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you’d like, unless you’d prefer to call someone else?”
Girl: “Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much!”
\*guy returns, so does the hard**** cop\*
Guy: “Uh so, I’ve paid the bill, if I could have my ID back..”.
Cop: “There you go.. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don’t go near or contact this young lady ever again.”
Guy: “Yes yes of course, I’m so sorry!”
The guy pretty much fled the restaurant, the girl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap.
It was hands down the best way I have ever seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero.
Dude. I hope that man has a great rest of his life.
(Source: reddit.com, via thecattydddy)
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(Source: shawnwasabi, via phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess)
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one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”
i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.
ya she’s my buddy i love her!
(Source: surprisedentistry, via jinkies-binx)
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When I was little, my whole fam lived in Venezuela, which was hard because we didn’t speak Spanish very well yet. I was four years old at the time. Anyways, we had this very straight faced, emotionless maid named Carla working for us. She always did a splendid job cleaning for us without speaking much because of the language barrier between us. So one day she comes up to my mom and says “cuaima… baño”, completely without emotion, and my mom doesn’t understand so she just laughs and goes “ok, sí, gracias” and continues on with her day. Well Carla comes up and says “cuaima” again to my mom the next day, and the next, and continues once a day for a week and a half. My mom is finally like, this must be pretty important if she keeps bringing it up, and grabs a dictionary and looks up the word ‘cuaima’. Well cuaima is defined as a very poisonous snake in Venezuela, so my mom freaks out and runs up to Carla like “DONDE ESTÁ LA CUAIMA”. Carla calmly walks over to the toilet and just points, and sure enough, a big black snake pops it’s head out of our toilet every couple minutes. So my mom and dad are like “what the heck do we do”, and devise a plan that they’re just going to pour some Drain-o down the toilet, and wait with an axe until something happens. This is really exciting stuff so of course me and my sisters gathered around to watch. So my dad pours the Drain-o, and about ten seconds later, this giant snake springs out the toilet and is furiously writhing all over our bathroom floor. So creepy. My dad swings the axe and chops the snakes head clean off and leaves a giant dent in our bathroom floor. Then Carla snatched the axe from him and chops the snake into, I’m not exaggerating, fifty different pieces. Our bathroom is covered in snake guts and blood. But, anyways, the point of this story is, after this happened I couldn’t use the bathroom by myself until I was ten, and I didn’t conquer my fear of actually sitting on a toilet seat until I was thirteen.
That story was wild from start to finish, holy shit
(via allantruong)
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(Source: jamesfregan)
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Every Sexist Commercial You’ve Ever Seen [x]
(via penisvvrinkle)
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u cant take the “moth” out of mothman
(via casthegrump)
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I hate that the Dairy Queen cashiers have to flip your blizzard upside down before giving it to you. I hate it. I know it’s most likely going to stay in it’s cup and I know I get a free one if it doesn’t, but the cocktail of a potential disaster and the cashier apologizing to what is most definitely a horrified me, having to sit in a drive-thru while someone behind me just bore witness to my fucking salted caramel blondie blizzard splattering on the asphalt, melting away while they mix me another one and i pray to god that they don’t flip it upside down again, is just a stress that I find entirely unnecessary. I trust it’s thick, just give me your word and i’ll be on my merry way.
I just imagined how it would feel to have them flip your second blizzard and have it spill too and I felt my shoulders physically tense
(via quasarkisses)